Love of My Life
by tengokunotobira
Summary: "Love will keep us alive"


***This story go well with Queen's song of the same name.**

The twin suns nearly went down on some God forgotten planet. Ben Solo observed two red discs disappearing below the desert's horizon. Warm wind puffed up his white robes. He still remembered the time he used to wear black.

It wasn't easy to forget four years spent with the First Order. He felt so proud, when he got this mission. An undercover work for Resistance, that was his dream. Now Ben founded it incredibly stupid and misconceived.

He considered trainings with Snoke a cruel brainwash, yet he never complained about what fate brought to him. Until he stepped on board of the Finalizer. There he met a man, who turned his life into hell.

General Hux. Ben's stomach clenched at the unwanted memory. For sure the soldier never knew he had such an impact on the poor force user. Every console, droid or panel on their shared ship Ben destroyed because of him. They developed difficult feelings for each other at first sight. At the beginning it was simple distrust, then antipathy finally evolved to pure hate. They react like fire and ice, constantly opposite to each other. A compromise wasn't an option. If "Kylo Ren" was excited by something, Hux dashed cold water on him. The more force user was angry, the less serious the officer treated him. Mutual hatred escalated quickly.

Despite all of that, for unknown reason Ben experienced mysterious enforcement to pleased the strict General. In what he always fails. Hux's well-thought-out orders made Knight of Ren sick with jealousy. He had no chance to be as composed and cool as the redhead officer. Moreover, his repeated outbursts constantly gave the General reason to lecture him in hard words. What was worse, he mostly pointed at _Kylo's_ split nature, sometimes totally passed over the whole devastations he did. So _Ben_ felt personally offended not only as a pretender under the mask, but also as the boy he really was.

Sudden turn took place when the force user nearly died after duel with Rey. Hux saved him even if it was Snoke's order. When scarred Kylo left the sick bay he sniffed out subtle change in General's manner toward him. The officer tried to be less harsh and frigid. Ren was shocked but he jumped at occasion and stopped messing with ship's equipment to show his good will. It worked actually. The officer stopped disregarding him. Ben was horrified it came to that he truly respected the First Order's head soldier. The situation between them was becoming better and better and reached it culmination point on _that_ day.

Ben recalled they both had free time, however exotic it sounded. He had not have to attend any mission or training and Hux took a break from work. They started from platitudes which, no telling when, transformed to an ordinary conversation. Hard to believe, but they ended in general's own quarters. For the first time Kylo felt that they talked to each other like… friends. The officer even took out a bottle of some wine. Ben still remembered it sour taste lingering in his mouth and burning his throat. The liquor also loosened tongues.

"How come you took over the command of the Finalizer?" Kylo asked, fiddling with his glass.

"Somebody had to." Hux snorted. "Fortunately Supreme Leader's whim involved me, but who knows why he made such choice…"

"Oh, this I can figure out." Ren said without a second thought. "You are excellent strategist, dutiful soldier and reliable comrade." Hux glanced at him sharply. Ren took a huge sip to cover up his embarrassment. "I mean, why did you want to be in charge…?"

"What else do you think I can desire?" The officer shrugged his arms. "Everything I'm surround with since my childhood is army and duty."

"You don't have any other dreams?" Ren let out boldly. He immediately regretted his own tactlessness, because the redhead stayed silent. "What I want to ask is…" He looked for right words, but they didn't come. Their eyes met. Kylo couldn't avert his sight from that icy-blue orbs. Hux neither felt like breaking this connection.

"What are you going to do, when the war is over…?" Ren finally found his tongue. An unexpected pang of pain ran through his flesh.

"Sometimes I feel like it's never going to end" Hux furrowed his brows. He continued after a while, voice hoarse and warm. "When I was younger I believed this conflict will finish soon. I used to think some day my service will be over and I'll be able to travel freely wherever I want. I think, I wanted to be an explorer then."

For the first time Kylo heard general's genuine laugh. In that moment Ben supposed he fell in love. And regretted it every night, because he knew one day his mission will end, and he will have to go away with broken heart. Even if he could single out every Hux's sin, he still longed for this man. His deadly enemy. When for Kylo it seemed to be just (well, maybe not _just_ , but) an unrequited passion, Ben for many months suffered real agony and felt like a traitor for both, Hux and Resistance.

That _one day_ at least followed.

He got force-call from Luke Skywalker. He had to go back, the Resistance no longer required his powers to be in vain on enemies' side. What else could he do? An old acquaintances arrived at Finalizer to take him. Poe and Finn succeeded at making mess and minor devastations. Last thing Ben saw before he left the ship in a hurry, was of course his beloved General's blaster aimed at him.

But he never shot. Ben dared to think, it would be better if he did. Instead of letting him go with that incredible facial expression buried deep into force user's mind. Hux didn't look like someone angry. His eyes were round, wide open and so blue… For sure the last thing he expected was Kylo Ren running away with hated rebel scums. Ben's heart hurt so much then…

…and now, it aches still with the same power. When he reverted from his terrible meditation it was already dark outside. He returned from the balcony into his chamber. For once Resistance's temporary base was nice and luxurious. For force user it meant nothing. Actually everything lost its worth since that fucking evening two years ago. Ben shook of stuff from the writing desk using his force. His anger and desperation grew up. He knew thinking about that ginger was no good.

He felt someone was coming before knocking blared out. It was Poe, as always full of energy.

"You won't believe!" He shouted completely ignoring the mess Ben did on the floor. "Finn's team captured one of the First Order's officer!"

Force user's heart stopped. Good thing Dameron was too excited to notice his sudden pallor.

"Who?" Ben hardly succeeded at speaking.

"They say only that he's a general, but I don't know for sure. Finn told me, three days ago they fought at Delgo-Bay with small group of enemies. They were sure, Snoke sent backup to his pets, but, believe it or not, they never got any support! Finn said some badass sent nearly all remains of his team in the ground. But they unarmed him, and wow! It turns out Snoke left his general for death! Ben, where are you going?!"

Ben listened his friend for too long. He left him and dashed to the public quarters to find his father. Luckily he was alone.

"Where is he?" He glared at Han.

"Son, what… oh, you mean _him_." Han frowned. "Someone you used to know?"

"I'm not sure." Ben hesitated.

"Your mother keeps him underground. Son, you alright?" Older man worried.

"Yeah, yeah!" Ben already ran out.

When he passed the door to the provisional jail he slowed down. His heart raced as never before. " _What on earth am I doing?! I don't even know it's him! But it has to be him! It has to…!_ He clenched his fists. " _What am I suppose to tell him anyway?! For force's sake, what to do?!"_ He accidentally jogged something but hell, if he gives a damn, what that was. " _Were they interrogating him? Is he hurt…? Damn it! I bet he doesn't want to see me…! What have I done…"_

"It's forbidden to visit the prisoner" The guards halted him.

Like they had a power to stop former _Master of Ren_. They fell onto ground unconscious. For Ben it was hard to breath. " _I can't, I can't face him. I won't do it_ , _I can't confront him! I won't bare his hate…!_ "

But he opened metal doors using force.

Slim body laid on a bunk. For a moment he thought he was wrong and it wasn't Hux. But then he caught a hint of red in cell's dim light. Ginger hair. Ben couldn't move, his mind went blank. He saw prisoner's back and long legs. " _Thank Force, he's still alive!" was_ all younger man was able to think. Near electricity shock ran through him when the captive spoke still facing a wall.

"Long time no see… Kylo." Hux's voice was calm as always.

Force user whispered very quietly after a long pause. "It's _Ben_ now…"

"Then I don't know you…" Hux slowly turned towards him. Every word hurt Ben more than all trainings with Snoke combined together. "…yet I heard someone bumping probably on trash bin while running, so I expected the clumsy Knight of Ren."

Ben's legs got weak.

"So tell me, how have you been…?" The redhead finally looked at him.

Ben's mind cracked in pain, and every nerve burned like on fire. It all must have been written on his face.

"So dramatic…" Hux muttered. "I feel like nothing's changed."

Ben watched general's sharp eyes under his red bangs. Never before he saw officer with stubble. They took away his uniform jacket, so he stayed on white vest and black trousers. His dog-tags shone in the dark. Ben felt nothing but overwhelming love-ache.

"There is only one thing still the same…" He nearly begged.

"Really? And this thing you refer to, was it ever true?" Hux mocked him. "Because I have the impression you are _supreme_ liar."

Ben's back slid down the wall so he was sitting on the floor.

"Armitage…" His force entered the other's mind as he transferred there all his memories and dreams. Officer closed his lids saying nothing more. They shared every unspoken word inside their minds.

After a long time, Hux rose up. Ben mirrored him. The redhead reached his hand toward Kylo and petted his cheek.

"That's all beautiful, Kylo… but I don't feel like I'm in the position to answer to your confession." He turned and laid back on the bunk, his arms under head.

"Why…?!" Ben choked. "I saw yours…"

"You had no right to" Hux interrupt. "It's means nothing now."

"I don't understand…!" Younger man tried again.

"Kylo…"

"My name is Ben…" he yelled in despair.

"It will always be Kylo for me. Too long I was dreaming about calling you by this name. Let it be."

"…so if you want me too, then why you refuse me…"

"Except your absurd expectation that I threw myself at your arms after all you did to me, Kylo, I'm on a death row. So you can start to mourn me."

Fate is cruel thing.

"Mother." Ben greeted princess Leia.

"You can't sleep?" She looked surprised. It was long past midnight.

"Mother, you can't execute him." He said strongly.

It went quiet. She sent him odd look.

"Well… not now, of course, but…" she said carefully.

"Ever." Ben demanded.

"Ben, I don't understand. He was in First Order's High Command and we are going to interrogate him once again. He never said a word before, so this time we will use the force to get the information he has. I used to think, you will do the examination."

"Sure I won't."

"That's fine, I'll ask Luke."

"I won't let you kill Hux." Ben said once more gritting his teeth.

"Ben, what is with you?! He is our enemy, a Snoke's pawn! His orders brought disaster and death to lots of people!"

"I know! I was there, I did the same, because I had to for my cursed mission's sake!" Ben shouted. "I'm not better than him!"

"Don't say that! Why do you protect this evil man?! Who is he for you? What kind of relationship have you two?"

"…doesn't matter."

"He has to pay for his sins. Death penalty is the only option."

"Then we aren't so different from the First Order." Ben turned around.

"Ben, come back here!"

"Leave me alone!"

"Where are you going?!"

"…meditate." He lied.

Leia fell in huff onto her chair, only slightly calmed by his last statement.

Ben did not plan meditations at all. He already decided what to do.

It was hour before suns rising when again he stood at the cell's door. He was going to open it, but someone stopped him. It wasn't guards.

"Ben." Luke spoke up.

"Uncle." Young force user shifted.

"I think I know what you are doing here." Old master nodded his head.

"Then… you should know, this time you won't stop me."

"I'm not trying."Luke smiled with understanding.

"You're not…?" Ben frowned.

"I owe you one. For that time you woke up and saw me with light saber above your head. For that you stayed with me after all. I can feel, without him you are not happy. His death will not solve the Resistance's problems. It will cause only more pain. So go and save both of you." Luke put his hand on Ben's shoulder.

"Uncle, that… thank you." Ben strongly hugged him.

"Only one. Promise me you will never join Snoke."

"You have my word."

"Good. Now better hurry."

"Uncle… please, tell my parents I love them… but I choose different path."

"Farewell, my dear nephew." Luke clutched him last time. "May the force be with you."

"What on silver fucking moon are you doing?!" Hux hissed into Ben's ear when they wormed their way into airfield. "Are you insane?! What if they catch you helping me?!"

"Quiet!" Force user pulled him toward large space shuttle. "Now listen. I prepared everything, food, clothes, weapons, spare tanks with fuel and other. Just go there and wait for me to switch off the protecting shield. Understood?"

"Since when you're the one who gives orders?" Yet he did as he was told.

Five minutes later Ben ran into the cockpit and took second pilot's place.

"Start the engines. We have no time."

"WE? Are YOU going to fly with me?!" Hux disbelieved.

"Yeah? What else you expected? That I leave you alone knowing all Resistance will be chasing after you? You also can't go back to Snoke. He doesn't care about you anymore. There is no time for chatting!"

"Kylo, you can be so stupid sometimes. Don't you think Supreme Leader will accept me with open arms when I deliver to him his precious little traitor, Knight of Ren?" In Hux's hand out of nowhere appeared a taser. Ben was so dumbfounded that officer's threat actually could worked. Hux always had to have last word.

They stared at each other for couple of seconds, then Hux tossed away the taser and activated all engines. Ben without a word customized other settings on control panel.

The ship took off immediately.

"So… where are we flying...?" Hux broke the silence between them.

"I have no idea… It was you who wanted to be a voyager…" Ben chuckled.

The redhead watched him with disbelief.

"It's so surreal that I doubt I'll ever get over it." He shook his head.

"So let's make the things weirder and leave this Galaxy. The universe is so wide. Let's see what else is there." Ben's eyes brightened up.

"I must be dreaming." Hux turned on the super drive. "Put the data in."

"In charge again, huh?" Ben winked at him.

"Don't be so self-satisfied. What now?" The ginger elevated his hands.

"What do you mean…?"

"We have plenty of time, don't you think? And just the two of us. What are _we_ gonna do?"

Ben's mouth went dry. Suddenly he felt very uncertain. He cleared his throat.

"Well… a kiss would be good…? For start…?"

"You underestimate me… after those years away from you I'm literally _starving._ Come here, Kylo Ren."

"I told you, it's _Ben_ …"

"Kylo Ben then." Hux kissed him. "I love you."

" _I know._ " Ben smiled shamelessly.

…aaaaand they lived happily ever after in some other far, far away Galaxy :*


End file.
